Thank you for smoking
We are far removed from smoking bans in bars and restaurnats! On the contrary, I am often fighting over ash trays with the waiters (we try to keep at least two on every table). I was watching a health and beauty show the other day on tv warning viewers that your skin absorbs whatever is in your envirnonment! Yikes- I have fried chicken fingers and marlboro reds building castels in my pores! I enjoy quite a hearty chuckle at the cigarette holders that have been afixed atop toiltet paper dispersers all thoughout this country- Heaven forbid you have to put out at light before you "shake out the spiders". It is a sad sight when you encounter a shriveled up and melted toilet paper dispenser, or countertop for that matter, that was not given the gift of an ashtray. I once had a very good friend (unnamed) drive me home (don´t worry mom- not very far), in his five speed, with a open can of Gallo beer in one hand and a cigarrette in the other- and all the while warning me that drinking coffee was bad for my health. I´ll stick to coffee- make it an expresso.

Tuk Tuks
Tuk Tuks are little motorized tuna cans that, for a small fee, rattle you all the way home. They have only recently been imported from Thailand into Central America. Six adults sharing one tuk tuk my personal record to date. The squish factor is actually a zillion times more comfortable than riding solo and being tumbled as in a dryer against every interior surface as the driver races over the cobble stones. I also prefer tuk tuks with actual metal doors even if it is only to my waist, also for the anti tumble out effect. The velcro plastic flap can only resist so much bouncing. Our good friend Pirate Pete has a dream of making an ultimate tuk tuk video game. Apparently, in Thailand, these bad boys are hooked up with car engines and become monster truck tin cans. Pick your color and race around town, picking up passangers and other odd tasks while dodging packs of stray dogs, chicken busses, or other pedestrians. There could be the night time series or rainy-season level for the more advanced players. Most tuk tuks are also equiped with a siren of some sort- not too loud and along the lines of video game. Talented drivers can start and stop the siren so that it whistles at the pretty girls they passby. Now is that hot or what!

Duck tape has 101 uses.
If it was more readily available in Guatemala, an additional 1001 uses would be discovered in the first week and it would grow nine lives to boot. Instead, plastic bags fill the void of the "use for just about anything" and "you´d better not leave home without it" category. Plastic bags are used with ingenuity and absudaty alike. Like most places in the US, everything you every buy is put in a bag but a day at the market means that I visit 20 stalls and recieve a bag from each. At Chritmas time, plastic bags were used to make wreaths, bows and other adornments on buildings. I´ve seen them as hair ties, wallets, signs, hats, rope, flags, holding live wires together, soccer ref flags, and kites to name a few. It is an art to drink soda from an open plastic bag, thankfully with the aid of a straw especially while driving a chicken bus, doing paperwork, or even nursing your baby. Oh- and side note- I have yet to see the use of a SLIP KNOT with any of the bags tied firmly shut before handed across the counter- so little chance of actually using the bag as a bag another time. The bag must be transformed into another creation with each use.